how many bros did u see @ last nite’s relevant club partie?

#_____Mnstrm bros
#_____Lamestream bros
#_____Hipster bros
#_____Alt bros
#_____Raver bros (glowstick version)

#_____Raver bros (cell phone version)
#_____Breakdancing bros
#_____Crustie bros
#_____Juggalo bros
#_____Frat bros

#_____Death metal bros
#_____Muscle bros
#_____Model bros

#_____Fro bros
#_____Uglie bros
#_____Totally keut bros
#_____Drug bros
#_____Dehydrated bros
#_____Totally ‘effed-up’ bros
#_____$5 sunglasses bros

#_____Lonely bros
#_____Shy bros
#_____Hornie bros
#_____Loud bros
#_____Bandana bros
#_____Ear plug bros
#_____Scarf bros
#_____Uglie sweater bros
#_____Wool hat bros
#_____Ginger bros

#_____CrEePiE bros

#_____White bros
#_____Black bros

#_____Mexi bros
#_____AZN bros

#_____Euro bros
#_____Jersey Shore bros
#_____USA bros
#_____Str8 bros
#_____Bi bros
#_____Ghey bros

#_____Homosexual bros [homobros]
#_____Lesbian bros [lesbros]
#_____Androgynous bros [androgynbros]
#_____Twink porn bros
#_____Tall bros
#_____Short bros
#_____College bros

#_____Underage bros
#_____Old Bros
#_____Cool dad bros
#_____Baby bros
#_____ ‘useless 20-something’ bros
#_____Moose bros

#_____Flannel bros
#_____Beard bros

#_____Mustache bros
#_____Leather jacket bros
#_____Sweat-stained white v-neck tee shirt bros
#_____Mark Zuckerbro ft. Justin Timberlake

#_____Steve Aoki

#_____Justice bros

#_____Jonas bros

#_____iPone bros
#_____Flipcamera bros
#_____Digital camera bros
#_____Digital SLR camera bros
#_____Hornie bros
#_____Grinding bros
#_____Bros who are ‘way too into it’

#_____Bros icing their bros
#_____Bros pumping their fist
#_____Bros nodding their head
#_____Bros smoking dank
#_____Bros at the partie all by themselves
#_____Bros just broing out

#_____Bros in a band
#_____Midget bros
#_____Bros w/a broken body part
#_____Hawaiian ley bros

#_____DJ bros

#_____Partie promoter bros
#_____Bros looking 4 bitches

#_____Bros looking 4 bros
#_____Bros looking 4 dudes
#_____Bros looking 4 <3

#_____Bros who want to sleigh
#_____Bros who want to crush
#_____Bros who want to kill
#_____Bros who want to get laid

#_____Bros being bros

#_____Bros being bros

#_____Bros being bros

#_____Bros who just want to effing dance, bro

= #_____TOTAL BROS

how many bros did u see @ last nite's relevant club partie?
which bro were u?
did u see any other bros not on this list? point em out bro

will mark zuckerbro win a billion oscars?

dear Mark,

every yr
mnstrm america
allows 6,000 anonymous rich people
and the media swarm
to decide 4 us
which movies were 'really good'
and then we watch and drool
while they give themselves
'metaphorical hand jobs'
in a long parade of award programs
leading to the ultimate orgy of narcissism
& self-congratulation
the academy awards
have to admit
as long as nat & james francs
r in the running
i'll watch as many
'metaphorical hand jobs'
as i can get
but this year i'm nervous
nervous 4 zuk
i know you're out there on
The Internet,
zuk
blogging, sleighing, crushing it
can you hear me?
r u out there?
saw u on SNL
u were tots keut
but...
mark?
the oscars r coming up...
i'm nervous 4 u
i'm nervous 4 us
finally watched
ur documentary
'The Harvard Connection'
have 2 admit
u killed it, bro
but no1 seems 2 like ur movie n e more
every1 says i should like some other movie
about some 'nazi king w/a stutter'
but did colin firth chill down
w/sean parker aka
JUSTIN 'D-IN-A-BOX' TIMBERLAKE?
i don't effing think so
so what's the deal yo?
nervous 4 us, zuk
if we can't pull it thru
will fb go offline?
will the world end?
if we don't win,
should i just quit fb & blogs 4evr?
even though fb is overrun with lamestrmrs & tweens
maybe we could protest [via the middle east]
& start our own oscars
'the blog oscars'
harry potter & the deathly hollbros
would crush that shit
i remember
when i was in college
'the face book' was
only 1 blog year old
fb was 'something special'
rlly felt like i was 'part of something'
[via elite private universities]
i crafted a unique internet personality 4 myself
ppl rlly saw how 'kewl' and 'authentic' i was
[via JPEG]
i even had class
w/ur hot-ass sister
but then things started
'swirling down the shitter'
state schools
high schools
newsfeed
tweens
apps
status updates
twitter
seemed like every time
i refreshed my effing browser
u'd come up w/some new quirky gimmick
& everything that was once
simple and accessible
became
cluttered and annoying
pretty soon fb
wasn't a 'unique experience' n e more
just another lamestream mainstream tween web forum
felt kinda betrayed, bro
like u'd reduced my stock from 34%
to .003% [via ur college bro roommate bro]
but what did u care?
u weren't as keut as the winklyvosses
but u could buy any billion dollar
slice of premium a$$ u wanted
ur rich
b/c of me,
mark
ur rich
b/c of us
ur documentary
was abt u
but where were we?
were were us?
i didn't see my name
on the credits
i didn't see
any of the ppl i 'fb stalked'
on the credits
i didn't see the line
'4 every lonely fb bro'
on the credits
mark
even if u win an oscar
i'll still b sitting in my overpriced
crummy brooklyn apt/
college dormitory/
suburban basement
broke
in debt
'trapped in the machine'
i went 2 a pretentious universitie too
a lot of us did
but 'so what?'
ur the king
ur the boss
ur the 'CEO, bitch'
n e way
hope we win it on sunday, zuk
sure, the oscars r just 'the superbowl 4 gays'
but rlly, this yr it's so much more
maybe
if u win
'all of us' win
i don't know
maybe we should have just tried
4 a grammie
good luck, bro
kill it

-sincerely,
just another fb bro of 50 million

'dance like no1's watching,
blog like no1's reading,
fb stalk harder than n e 1 has fb stalked b4'
-mark 'i'm CEO, bitch' zuckerbro

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
will zuk win the oscars?
is the social network better than the king bro's speech?
r u on facebook?
is your lil brother/sister/mom/dad/dog/grandma on fb?
does fb even matter n e more?
do u feel betrayed by zuk?
will u quit fb if zuk looses the oscars?
does facebook make u feel like ur just another useless 20-something trapped in the machine of commercialism, business, the internet, MacBooks, & 'wanting to belong'?

should radiohead retroactively win 'grammie of the year'?

radiohead
is a band
that 'can do no effing wrong'
& is generally considered
by the internet 2 b
'G-D's effing gift to man'
but does n e 1 actually 'like'
this music?
or do we DL this shit only
b/c the internet tells us to?
is listening to each new radiohead album
just an excuse for mnstrmers
2 feel more 'alt'
& an excuse for alts
2 feel 'even more alt'?
oh thom...
can't really tell if ur music is good
what the hell r u saying?
r u having a seizure?
i know i should like u
the internet tells me to
will u get a 8.5-9.6 on p4k?
ur so conceptual
i just wanna get conceptual with u
body spasms_lotus flower_reality
_<3_truth_feeling
_emotion_double rainbows_luv
just wanna sit naked in a dark room
get blazed & stoned on pills
& vibe out 2 thom's 'haunting voice'
want 2 transcend human existence
want 2 transcend mnstrm & indie
want 2 transcend the Internet
want 2 travel back in time
& give u a giant grammie award
i've already pre-ordered 6
of ur $269 newspaper vinyls
#1 radiohead fan
rlly
ur so much more buzzworthy
than arcade fires
oh thom...
how slowly we unfold
bloopity bleepity bleep
<3 u
just wanna 'get real'
we're all in this 2gthr
mnstrmrs & alts
save us thom
save us
lead us 2
alternative
salvation
<3

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
have u DL'ed 'The Kings of Leons' yet?
is radiohead 'good music'?
is radiohead 'pretentious conceptual bullshit'?
did u order the newspaper album?
do u like radiohead on ur own, or only b/c every1 else tells you to like them?
is thom yorke a 'total hunk' or a 'total freak'?
how long have u been a radiohead fan?
what's the best/worst/most accessible/least accessible radiohead album?
is radiohead better/worse than arcade fires?
have you ever done drugs while listening 2 radiohead & had a 'transcendent experience?'
is music even about music anymore, or is music just abt image/blogs/internet memes?
does this music vid make u wanna puke?:

is indie dead?

once upon a time
many years ago
in 2k4-7
there was a music genre called 'indie'
ur band was 'indie'
if no1 knew who u were
u played in garages & basement bars
singing meaningful anthems or luv songs
abt 'being in luv' or 'feeling lost & confused'
or 'smoking dank' or 'death' or 'being a robot'
u released ur albums on vinyl
ur band comprised:
-4 rich white bros /
-2 white college bros w/a synthesizer /
-3 white bros & a some keut grl /
-10+ white bros & grls /
& u were relevant
& u were authentic
& the only ppl who listened 2u
were the ppl who really 'got it'
& zach braff & wes anderson used u
for their meaningful movies
& everything was meaningful
& u were happy
2 be alt
1 of these bands was called
'The Arcade Fireses' or 'Arcade Fire'
they sang the songs of a generation
of jaded, anxious formative alts
they sang abt 'family' & other meaningful shit
their songs expressed how u were feeling
'yeah, i really get this band' u said
'& they really get me'
& u went to an arcade fires concert
& every1 was like
'ahhh-aahhh-aaahhhh-aaahhh-ah-ohhh-ahhh-
000hhhhhh-000000hhhh-ahhhh'
really vibing out 2 some meaningful vibes
& the world seemed like a better place
& then there was some spike jonez movie trailer
'where the wild bros go'
& u thought 2 urself
'yes, nostalgic images of youth +
a meaningful indie soundtrack that only
me + my closest alt bros will understand =
pure alternative gold'
but then the movie sucked
& u went home afterward
& watched the trailer on utube
over & ovr again
& cried
& then some album came out called
'the suburbs of america suck'
& there was some song
called 'suburb sprawl of america part 5'
that seemed like it had ok lyrics
but then some lady with an awful voice was singing it
& every1 was like 'this is awful'
& then the album won
'best ever music album by humans ever'
& it seemed like
every alt thing we had been living 4
every alt thing we had worked 4
every p4k album review we 'read'
every hour we spent in front of our macbooks
was a waste
was a lie
was dead
indie was dead
indie was dead
indie was dead
there is no more indie
i lived 2 see the death
of indie
how can a band that wins
the highest mnstrm achievement award
be indie?
indie is dead
indie is dead
how can this awful music
b considered 'good' by anybody?
arcade fire
killed indie
this is a nightmare
indie is dead
this is just a bad dream
indie is dead
i'm sleeping
indie is dead
how can will i cope
in a post-indie world?
how can i b alt
if alt=mnstrm?
nothing makes sense anymore
indie is going mnstrm
buzzbands r going mnstrm
indie is dead
indie is dead
arcade fire
killed indie
indie
is dead

help

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
did yall watch the grammies?
have yall heard of arcade fires?
will arcade fire win an academy award/pulitzer/nobel peace prize?
when did u 'discover' the arcade fire?
when did arcade fire go mnstrm?
did arcade fire kill indie?
did regine kill indie?
did p4k kill indie?
did blogs kill indie?
did facebook kill indie?
did alts kill indie?
did mnstrmrs kill indie?
will indie ever 'rise from the ashes' [via TOMBOY?]
did u like 'the wild bros go wild'?
why does all music suck?
how do i stay indie in a post-indie world?
how do i stay alt in a post-alt world?