yall excited 4 the RAPTURE!!!???

we've had some gr8 internet memes so far this year, yall
charlies sheen, rebecca black, donald trump, obama bin laden
in our overpopulated blog/youtube/internet meme economy
seems like a new meme cums & goes evry week
& i can barely keep track of them all
maybe i just don't have enough snark in me
2 become a 'prime-time' 'snarky meme blogger'
but since the rapture is literally 'just around the bend,'
i can't resist throwing in my '2 effing cents' sometimes, living in our godless urban cesspools of art, fashion, culture, and gay sex
it's easy 2 forget that there's 'a whole nother world out there, yall'
in middle america
populated by millions of overweight, unemployed white people [and mexicans]
with nothing better 2 do than watch satellite TV, monday night football, and Jersey Shore;
shop at the local Hot Topic or American Eagle;
eat Taco Bell;
and worship unicorns/the
'BIG GUY IN THE SKY' is it insensitive of the 'elitist, pretentious, educated, secular media sphere'
2 make fun of mnstrm americans snarfing down fast food & worshiping the one and only LORD JESUS CHRIST?
hells yeah it's insensitive!
he's already here, bb!
no wonder this guy thinks it's the end of the world
looks some1 dug him up from the grave & pulled a rake over him!
'it's the end of the world as we know it, yall, but i feel more 'mummy-like' than fine' -Harold Cambell

but SRSLY
why hasn't anyone realized that the 'end-of-the-world' gimmick
is just the greatest website advertising meme [via FAMILY RADIO]
of all time?
or was this just some stunt by R.E.M. 2 get youtube hits & try 2 be 'relevant' again?

these people don't look dangerous - - & maybe some miraculous day they actually will die out
& we can snark them left and right, up & down until they do

but they r a real threat to the well-being of democracy & social cooperation among the human race

truth is
religious fundamentalism doesn't help anyone
& only perpetuates social dissent, ignorance, poverty, & h8
they're welcome 2 their rapture
A new pride my ego taught me, and this I teach men: no longer to bury one's head in the sand of heavenly things, but to bear it freely, an earthly head, which creates a meaning for the earth. A new will I teach men: to will this way which man has walked blindly, and to affirm it, and no longer to sneak away from it like the sick and decaying.
-Zarathustra, [via FRIEDRICH EFFING NIETZSCHE]


keep on dancin til the world ends, yall!!! [damn, brit, ur lookin good, bb!]

*****

TOP 10 REASONS 2 CELEBRATE THE APOCALYPSE:
10. no more youtube vidoes like this!:

9. all gays can finally get married!
8. in the event of a world-wide earthquake, a great chance to thrash some sick, tsunami-style waVVes!
7. more time 4 blogging!
6. mad max will b there!
6. wont have 2 repay student loans!
6. 200 million less Xtians = more space for pagan sex orgies, yall!
3. can use all the empty churches for acid raves!
2. pigs wearing green boots!
1. more time 2 chill down with my chill, crust-punk dad!

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
how are u celebrating the RAPTURE?
do u listen to THE FAMILY RADIOS DOT COM?
will u be burning in [hell][heaven][other]?
does brittney spears look 'smokin hot'?
what has been ur fav 'meme of the week' of 2k11?
do u like the SALEM 'dancing 2 the world ends' vid better than brittney's? [s00 dark, yall]
will ben affleck & bruce willis save us? or will elijah wood/lele zeblowski/morgan freeman hussein obama save us?

sick of being a worthless grad student?

yall
so sick of being a worthless
over-educated
white person
effing hipster
grad student + intern
few practical skills
thousands of dollars in debt
24 years old
writing history essays
no one will read
doesn't matter
tired
worn out
give up
over it
sick of the pressure
anxiety
debt
rlly just want to be a boring
8-5 mainstreamer
just want to blog
just want to watch netflix
just want to play X-box
just want to eat TV dinners
just want to read 'the da vinci code'
and 'eat pray love' and 'the secret'
and 'the five bros you meet in heaven'
want to watch 'glee' and 'CSI'
want to order take-out thai
want to drive a hummer
want to have 2.5 kids
that will grow up to resent me
exploit me for money
to live in a trendy, brooklyn-like city
while they go to grad school
to study film, literature, acting
tired
worn out
sick of being a worthless grad student + intern
paying money
to make copies
have people judge my writing
eff it
social life dead
cant find a date
seems like a corrupt system
we all buy into it
'M.A./Ph.D. = social status'
but does any of it matter
does n e one actually 'give a shit'
sort of confused
over it
24 years old
over-educated
white person
effing hipster
no practical skills
thousands of dollars in debt

at least its winter break soon yalls!

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
yall tired of being a worthless grad student?
what did u learn in grad school?
did u get to go to school for free, or r u 'effing shit-deep' in debt?
should i get a p h dees?
why does life end after college?
why do ppl go to grad school?
why are jobs so boring?
why are ppl expected to get some 'boring ass job' they don't give an eff about after college?

so ur gettin 'hitched'?

Some people get married young
Some people get married old
Some people get married in hot weather
Some people get married in the cold

Sometimes a man marries a woman
Or a man will marry a man
Sometimes three people will try to get married
Although that type of stuff is usually banned

People get married because they love each other
People get married because they want babies
People get married just for something to do
Some people who get married even have rabies

Jews marry Christians
And monotheists marry polytheists
Agnostics marry Muslims
And Buddhists marry atheists

Some women dream their whole life of getting married
Walking down the aisle with their dad
Some women will never marry
Because they think the institution’s simply ‘bad’

Some brides wear big white dresses
Some brides dress like hos
Some grooms wear tailored suits
Some just dress like bros

Weddings can be big or small
In a church or on the sand
Hundreds of families, friends, and loved ones
Will fly across the land

Some will settle for a courthouse
With two or three friends near
Or some elope in Vegas
After drinking too much beer

Some people are married forever
Some people get divorced
Some marriages flow smoothly
Some marriages feel forced

Married people will have great sex
And married people will have it awful
Married people will have traditional sex
And married people will have sex that verges on unlawful

Married people are tall and small
Married people are rich and poor
Married people are white and black
Some married people you invite into your home;
Some married people you’ll kick out the back door

Some married people never speak
Some married people are each others’ best friends
Some married people resent each other
Some married people stay in love until their life ends

Whoever you marry
And for however long
And whatever happens throughout the years
I hope the love is strong

You’re both in pretty deep now
Until death should do you part
You’ve got two very different lives
But they’re beating with one heart

So happy to be able to call you my pals
I <3 u so goddamn much
Though I can’t be there in person
I’m sending you good vibes n’such

Marriage is a wonderful thing
And marriage is so scary
It’s pretty horrifying, really
But I don’t think you should be wary

You’ve come this far, at least
And that’s got to count for something
So hold your breath
Grasp your hands
Take the plunge untethered

And as you fall
At least you know
You’re doing this
Together

<3 u E + P
<3 S
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
have you ever gotten ‘hitched’?
do u <3/h8 your spouse?
where did you/will u get married?
have u still not ‘consummated’ your marriage?
will you have babies, adopt, or artificially inseminate?
is monogamy ‘effing overrated’?
should I get married?
is 'the princess bride' 'sooooo funnie'?

is mcdonalds ghey?

When I was a young tween
Verging on entry-entry-entry-lvl alt status
I wanted to do something ‘radical’
That would make me ‘unique’ &/or ‘special’
I needed to make a ‘controversial’ ‘statement’
That would set me apart
From every other ‘fatass mnstrmer’ in Middle America

Still swimming in the primordial soup
Of my own eventual ‘alternative’ personal brand
I was searching for the metaphorical lightning bolt
That would stir the chill waves of mystical chemicals within me
And allow me to grow limbs of alternative might
With which I would use to crawl
Onto the beach fuzzy shores
Of meaningful existence

Years before I forsake eating the bloody flesh
Of innocent animal bros
I turned my back on the consumerist-conformist nation of
‘Fast food’
I stopped eating at McDonalds, Burgy King, McWendys and Hardeesbros
Take that, yall, I snarked
Flipping my middle finger
At the booger-covered, diaper-smelling
Twisty slides and ball pits

Though I’d never found a toenail in my ‘Happy’ Meal
Or a condom in my McFlurry
Somehow I had an alt-sense
That eating this ‘food’
Was ‘wrong’ –
Not only did my ‘righteous’ and ‘noble’ boycott
Of all things McBurgBellWendDees
Lead to a healthier lifestyle
But it made me ‘different,’
And thus obviously more ‘authentic’ and ‘cutting edge’
Even tho most pple @ middle school
Just kept calling me a ‘fggt’

But did I make a mistake?

Suddenly it seems like McDonalds is the place to go
For ‘genuine’ and ‘meaningful’ family conversations

Suddenly it seems like Micky D’s isn’t just a generic
‘restaurant’ concerned only with providing ‘cheap ass food’
Via slow/lazy/high/drunk/stupid/acne-faced high-school drop-outs/drug dealers

Suddenly it seems like McD’s is not just a ‘restaurant,’
But an emotionally loaded conceptual space
Where we can gather to ‘get real’ about
Some of our most ‘significant’ and ‘relevant’
Social issues

‘Family Dynamics’
‘Sexuality’
‘The Generational Divide’
‘The Cultural Divide’
‘Underage Sex’
‘Foreign Languages’
‘Globalization’
‘Consumerism’
‘Healthy Eating’
‘Sustainable Food Economies’
‘Global Warming’
‘Vegetarian/Veganism’
‘The Internet’

Suddenly McDoggy D’s seems like so much more
Than my ‘rebellious’ alt-self had ever conceived

Suddenly McDondalds isn’t just a place –
And it’s not just a ‘choice’ –

It’s a ‘McLifestyle’

Cum as you wish
Cum as you want
Cum as y’are, yall
– McDonaldsbros

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
is mcdonalds ‘ghey’?
are u ‘ghey’?
are u ‘ghey for mcdonalds’?
does eating mcdonalds make you 'ghey'?
does mcdonalds make you 'come'?
do u eat ‘fast food’?
should I start eating at mcdonalds again?
Is mcdonalds the most ‘authentic fast food chain’ out there?
are all 'french' people 'ghey'?
is this kid's dad 'in the proverbial closet'?
have you ever 'caressed' a picture of your 'bf'?
do boys in ‘all-boys schools’ have 'wild ghey orgies'?
why don't europeans get 'circumsized'?
is this actor really 'ghey'?
do you think he likes 'big macs' or just 'normal-sized macs'?