is indie dead?

once upon a time
many years ago
in 2k4-7
there was a music genre called 'indie'
ur band was 'indie'
if no1 knew who u were
u played in garages & basement bars
singing meaningful anthems or luv songs
abt 'being in luv' or 'feeling lost & confused'
or 'smoking dank' or 'death' or 'being a robot'
u released ur albums on vinyl
ur band comprised:
-4 rich white bros /
-2 white college bros w/a synthesizer /
-3 white bros & a some keut grl /
-10+ white bros & grls /
& u were relevant
& u were authentic
& the only ppl who listened 2u
were the ppl who really 'got it'
& zach braff & wes anderson used u
for their meaningful movies
& everything was meaningful
& u were happy
2 be alt
1 of these bands was called
'The Arcade Fireses' or 'Arcade Fire'
they sang the songs of a generation
of jaded, anxious formative alts
they sang abt 'family' & other meaningful shit
their songs expressed how u were feeling
'yeah, i really get this band' u said
'& they really get me'
& u went to an arcade fires concert
& every1 was like
'ahhh-aahhh-aaahhhh-aaahhh-ah-ohhh-ahhh-
000hhhhhh-000000hhhh-ahhhh'
really vibing out 2 some meaningful vibes
& the world seemed like a better place
& then there was some spike jonez movie trailer
'where the wild bros go'
& u thought 2 urself
'yes, nostalgic images of youth +
a meaningful indie soundtrack that only
me + my closest alt bros will understand =
pure alternative gold'
but then the movie sucked
& u went home afterward
& watched the trailer on utube
over & ovr again
& cried
& then some album came out called
'the suburbs of america suck'
& there was some song
called 'suburb sprawl of america part 5'
that seemed like it had ok lyrics
but then some lady with an awful voice was singing it
& every1 was like 'this is awful'
& then the album won
'best ever music album by humans ever'
& it seemed like
every alt thing we had been living 4
every alt thing we had worked 4
every p4k album review we 'read'
every hour we spent in front of our macbooks
was a waste
was a lie
was dead
indie was dead
indie was dead
indie was dead
there is no more indie
i lived 2 see the death
of indie
how can a band that wins
the highest mnstrm achievement award
be indie?
indie is dead
indie is dead
how can this awful music
b considered 'good' by anybody?
arcade fire
killed indie
this is a nightmare
indie is dead
this is just a bad dream
indie is dead
i'm sleeping
indie is dead
how can will i cope
in a post-indie world?
how can i b alt
if alt=mnstrm?
nothing makes sense anymore
indie is going mnstrm
buzzbands r going mnstrm
indie is dead
indie is dead
arcade fire
killed indie
indie
is dead

help

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
did yall watch the grammies?
have yall heard of arcade fires?
will arcade fire win an academy award/pulitzer/nobel peace prize?
when did u 'discover' the arcade fire?
when did arcade fire go mnstrm?
did arcade fire kill indie?
did regine kill indie?
did p4k kill indie?
did blogs kill indie?
did facebook kill indie?
did alts kill indie?
did mnstrmrs kill indie?
will indie ever 'rise from the ashes' [via TOMBOY?]
did u like 'the wild bros go wild'?
why does all music suck?
how do i stay indie in a post-indie world?
how do i stay alt in a post-alt world?

is middle america a drag?

Or: coming 2 terms w/ur mnstrm roots ovr the holidays: a meaningful essay
sometimes
when I spend
several months
in ____________ (relevant alt city)
i forget that there’s
‘a whole other world out there’
so i go home to ____________
(OH/WI/MN/MI/IN/etc. etc.)
to reconnect w/my family
& our middle american
MNSTRM roots
used to really resent
growning up in
small town suburbia
shopping @ walmart & american eagle
acting in community theater
playing video games in basements
driving my mom’s van
taking AP courses
wearing cargo shorts
eating cheeseburgers & meat products
& getting called a ‘fggt’ by the football team
always knew i was ‘different’
always knew i was destined for ‘bigger & better things’
'getting a useless liberal arts/design school degree'
‘studying abroad’
‘making art’
‘starting a buzzband’
‘working at a vegan café’
‘selling weed’
or just ‘doing jack sh*t’
while exploiting my parents
to live in a $800 + apt
in one of america’s
‘cultural meccas’
but now that i’m
‘getting a lil older’
going home 4 the holidays
has taken on ‘a whole new meaning’
really starting 2 appreciate
how mnstrm i used 2 b
don’t think i ever realized
how ‘good i had it’

sure –
no1 here has heard
of ‘iPads’
most ppl actually believe
in some1 named ‘GOD’
& animal cruelty
is a sunday hobby
but it’s nice not 2
wake up @ 3 in the morning
b/c my neighbor is blasting 50 cent
through my paper-thin apt walls
it’s nice 2 walk through the woods
or 2 drive around town in
my parents’ ‘gas-guzzling SUV’
instead of getting groped
by some old latino man on the subway
it’s even nice 2 wear cargo shorts
& to get a slurpie
@ my local suburban mall
hot topic rlly does have nice merchandise
(thinking abt getting a diamond-studded choker)
most of all
i’m thankful 4 my mnstrm parents
4 raising me w/conservative, xtian values
even tho i turned out 2 b kind of a
‘godless, liberal, & depressive butt hole’
they still <3 me 4 who i am
(or at least who they wished i had become)
& buy me expensive material possessions

mom makes a rlly good ‘turduckin’
& dad is rlly good
@ watching TV

all in all
i’ve realized
if i hadn’t grown up
in MNSTRM america
i never would have succeeded so well
@ becoming a cynical, jackass ‘effing hipster’
living within the snug bubble of ‘alternative culture’

i know now
no matter how bad i F up
how much debt i accrue
how much dank i smoke
how much PBR i drink
how many graduate degrees i acquire
how many mp3s i download illegally
how many times i drop my iPod on the subway tracks
how many veggie burgers i consume
how many blog entries i write
how many relevant alt music festivals i attend
how many times i study abroad
how many jonathan franzen novels i read
how skinny my jeans are –
in short, no matter how alternative i become –
i know now
i’ll always b able 2 come back
to Middle America

i'll always be able
2 come back
to MNSTRM USA
my heart
my life
my home

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
did u grow up in middle America?
do u h8/<3 going home 4 the holidays?
do u resent ur childhood?
do u wish u were raised by ‘AltParents’?
is ‘alternative culture’ overrated?
is alternative culture ‘killing our planet’?
is mnstrm American culture ‘killing our planet’?
have u come 2 terms w/ur mnstrm roots?
will u ‘burn out’ on alt city life in 1.5-3 years & move into ur parents' basement?
are there even such things as ‘alt’ & ‘mnstrm’?
does mnstrm = alt?
r the suburbs s000000 b0000ring?
is the arcade fires PRETENTIOUS EFFING BLLSHT?