hows ur iphone doin?

Dear iPhone,

iPhone
i <3 u so much
but what is wrong with u
ur acting sick
worried abt the future
of humanitie

iPhone
i could not live w/o u
i wuld die w/o u
u connect me 2 societie
like real human interaction
nvr could

iPhone
i <3 u 4evar
but, like, - O.K., I have to come clean
not worried so much abt u
as i am abt my addiction
2 u

iPhone?
what r u?
lets face it
u r a shittie peice of shit, first -
a marketing gimmick
status symbol
a useless distraction from 'real life' -
and u r a decent piece of machinery, last

iPhone
no one seems to notice
that u suck
instead of getting frustrated by their own
materialistic + consumerist behavior
they gotta h8 on u and Steve Handjobsbro
kinda like a heroin junkie
blaming his addiction
on his drugs/drugs dealer
and not his own weak moral character

iPhone
sorry u had to get stuck
in the middle of all this
it's not ur fault
but its not like we'll ever blame ourselves
for our own problems
walking down the street
like zombies
gazing at a tiny screen
consuming texts
isolating ourselves from our surroundings
raising u above the crowd
at a relevant indie concert
gotta post my authentic concert pic on twitter/facebook/utube
instead of actually focusing solely on enjoying the music
and creating a real memory in my brain

iPhone
if im at a party where i don't know anyone
i stand in a corner playing with u
pushing buttons
pretending im having an important text conversation
with my friends who aren't @ the parti yet
u offer me security
i don't actually have to meet ppl
ill just check out their facebook pics
see who's posted on ur wall l8ly
maybe ill just download another app

iPhone
i <3 u, iphone
even more than i <3 dank
and my monthly trustfund allowance
i <3 so much
i'll nvr betray u
even tho u are a piece of shit/
programmed to die every 2 years/
destroying meaningful human interaction
<3 iPhone 4evar

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
do u <3/h8 ur iphone 4s?
whats ur favorite apppp?
r iphones the new heroin?
who do u h8 more: At&Ats, Steves Brobs, or China?
when will they make a tooth-sized iPhone that fits in ur mouth/brain/pee hole?