lindsay lohan, what happened 2 u?

Lindsay Lohan
Sorta forgot about u
Now u r going 2 jailz
Have 2 do lines of blow behind bars
Gonna DJ for some authentic prison inmates

What the hell happened
U used to be kuet
And showed promise as an actress

Wish u were still a real person
Not a human meme

Maybe your whole life
Is a piece of performance art
A critique on modern celebrity culture
And u r the greatest performance artist
Since the MOMA

Maybe u r so authentic
That nobody ‘gets’ u
U transcend mnstrm existence
Or maybe we ‘get’ u so much
That you have devolved completely
From a human being
Into a JPEG file

Maybe the ‘trainwreck’
Of ur ‘life’
Is a sacrifice
To the pop culture gods
U r a slave to the machine
And the Hollywood billboard
Is your tombstone

No one seems to know
Why u r going 2 jail
I was fine with u blowing coke
Endangering lives while driving drunk
Flashing ur coot
Having lesbian sex

We r all consumers
And we need something to consume
A fantasy lifestyle
To imagine
While we slave away
In our corporate offices and cubicles

We can dream about chilling with u
By a pool in Morocco
Sipping martinis and smoking a blunt
Wearing versized $500 designer sunglasses
Bikinis
Texting on our Blackberries
Gonna party with Steve Aoki 2nite
Until 9 in the morning
And sleep until 5

I hear u r ‘acting’ in a new film
Abt a porn star
This is possibly why u skipped out on
Your AA/drunk driving classes
You have to ‘make ur own living’ these days
U have to ‘work’

90 days is a long time
But not really
U can think of jail
As an opportunity to gain experience
For future acting gigs

Some ppl are so poor
They’d kill for the security, routine, and free food
Of a prision
Think of all the bros u will make
And all the laughs u will share

Some day
When u are sobered up
U can go on Oprah
Write a best-selling memoir
And win an Academy Award
For that stunning ‘come-back’ role

We will look back on ur prison sentence
As a valuable learning experience
For us all
We will sort of smirk at how young and naïve
We were
And then cut up another line
And snort it

Pull up your bootstraps/American Apparel leggings, Lindsay
I know u can do it
I know u can survive
We r here 4 u

We r all in this
2gether

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
do u <3/h8 lindsay?
is lindsay lohan a 'performance artist'?
is lindsay lohan really a lesbian?
have u ever partied w/lindsay/steve aoki?
is lindsay lohan the most authentic/relevant alternative icon?
will lindsay lohan win an academy award?
would u scissors w/lindsay?
r we all responsible 4 lindsay lohan's trainwreck life?