how do u meet some1 @ trader joes?

skinny lil grocery baggers
& lil produce-stocker foodies:
trader joe's is a fantastic store
cuz all the bois are keuties

i needed to get some fixins
4 the big football bash on sunday
& when i stood in the checkout line
i saw u glancing my way

a keut lil trader joe's bagger
w/a beard & a lil black beanie
did our eyes meet just by chance?
or did u want to bag my weenie?

when i peered @ u a 2nd time
i new there was something there
i wanted u 2 know i liked u too
but i didn't want 2 glare

i was assigned a bagger two stalls behind u
but i slowed deliberately as i passed u by
u tipped up your chin, i smiled back
w/a lil glimmer in my eye

but that was that, u had 2 keep bagging
& i carried my groceries 2 the street
i wish i could have said 'hi bro, how's it goin?'
but we never got 2 meet

perhaps u've forgotten my face by now
through trader joe's many attractive men flow
the hipster type, with scraggly beards
we must all look the same 2 u, i know

maybe i'll see u next week
& u'll get to bag my food
i'll tell u my name, give u my #
say, 'u seem like a pretty cool dude'

but maybe tuesday night was all we get
the only moment on earth we'll share
the thought makes me feel quite lonely
sometimes it seems too much 2 bear

we're all alone in this big gross city
it's dark, it's scary, it's cold
but maybe to meet a partner
i've just got 2 b a lil more bold

i salute u, keut lil bagger
bagging food at the trader joe's
i hope we can meet, hang out, go on a date
maybe we're meant 2 b, maybe u'll b my mate
i'll be glad if that's how the wind blows

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
is trader joe's more authentic than the wholes foodses?
r the trader joe's staff s0000 alt-keut?
how r u supposed to meet some1 in a public space?
how do u find a date?
hav u ever made suggestive eye contact w/some1 @ trader joe's/a nightclub/mcdonalds/the L train/at an AnCo show? how did it turn out 4u?
did u go on craigslist the next day and search the 'missed connections' tab?
did u write a 'missed connections' post on craigslist?
r we all sad, lonely ppl?
should i get a job @ trader joe's drawing chalk doodles of bananas?

sick of being a worthless grad student?

yall
so sick of being a worthless
over-educated
white person
effing hipster
grad student + intern
few practical skills
thousands of dollars in debt
24 years old
writing history essays
no one will read
doesn't matter
tired
worn out
give up
over it
sick of the pressure
anxiety
debt
rlly just want to be a boring
8-5 mainstreamer
just want to blog
just want to watch netflix
just want to play X-box
just want to eat TV dinners
just want to read 'the da vinci code'
and 'eat pray love' and 'the secret'
and 'the five bros you meet in heaven'
want to watch 'glee' and 'CSI'
want to order take-out thai
want to drive a hummer
want to have 2.5 kids
that will grow up to resent me
exploit me for money
to live in a trendy, brooklyn-like city
while they go to grad school
to study film, literature, acting
tired
worn out
sick of being a worthless grad student + intern
paying money
to make copies
have people judge my writing
eff it
social life dead
cant find a date
seems like a corrupt system
we all buy into it
'M.A./Ph.D. = social status'
but does any of it matter
does n e one actually 'give a shit'
sort of confused
over it
24 years old
over-educated
white person
effing hipster
no practical skills
thousands of dollars in debt

at least its winter break soon yalls!

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
yall tired of being a worthless grad student?
what did u learn in grad school?
did u get to go to school for free, or r u 'effing shit-deep' in debt?
should i get a p h dees?
why does life end after college?
why do ppl go to grad school?
why are jobs so boring?
why are ppl expected to get some 'boring ass job' they don't give an eff about after college?

bedford ave?

Breathe in the smoke
And the lights
Of Bedford Avenue
On a Saturday night

Hundreds of hipsters
Hoarding down Bedford
Useless humans
Being useless
Eating hamburgers and
Sipping mochas in
Café windows
Browsing for avant-garde
Albums and zines
Thrifting and searching
For art
Authenticity
Meaning
Which genre of human
You fit into
Plodding north
Plodding south
Holding hands
Or sitting alone
Scribbling in moleskins
Or pushing strollers
Wearing babies and small dogs
As a fashion accessory

These are the sounds
These are the sights
of Bedford Avenue
On a Saturday night

Nowhere better to be
Than Bedford Avenue
On a Saturday night
Smoking a Newport or a Clove
Stop into the organic market
Or the cheese shop
Or get some wine
Wear a beard
And your unshowered skin
Your bedbug bites and dandruff
Squinting through coke bottle glasses
Strutting and breathing
In your boots and jeans
Girlfriends and boyfriends
In a candle-lit café
Or strolling the street
Drinking Bud-Lite
From a bag

Welcome to the lights
Such alternative sights
On Bedford Avenue
On a Saturday night

Fags with fat girls
Dykes with pierced ears
And children and moms
Having somewhere to be
Someone to see
You are someone
In the city
In the show
Of hair and teeth
Wheezing coffee breath
Yogurt
Meat
Skateboards and bikes
Scarves and guitars
Headphones, yawning beards
Keep walking
Keep going

And breathe in the smoke
And the lights
Of Bedford Avenue
On a Saturday night
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

is bedford ave the most authentic/relevant/meaningful street in bk/NYC/America/the World?
what's ur fav relevant bar/thai restaurant/cafe/record store/thrift store/bodega/organic foods market on bedford ave?
will the new duane reade 'crush' kings pharmacy?
is bedford ave a street, or more of a 'state-of-mind' [via being tanked/danked]?
do black ppl still live in bk?
r hipsters 'the effing dead-end of western cultural civilizations'?
r u just another lonely bro, sitting in a cafe window counter, surfing the internets on your macbook/writing meaningful lyrics in a moleskine, wearing giant noise-canceling dr dre headphones?
do ppl in new york actually do anything?

do u have a scuzzy ass 'effing hipster' beard?

hi
i have a beard
do u have a beard?
i luv a bro
w/a beard

hi
oh hi
nice beard, bro
ur killin it

kute beard
lil white bro
makes u look kinda manly
id hit that

oh?
u have a beard too?
sweet
lovin' it

dude, that's a sweet beard
id live in that beard
but what happened to ur band, bro?
where'd u bros go?

oh
i guess ur scruff is kewl
u should probs work a lil harder tho
maybe a chill stache

yeah
work that stache bro
lovin it
70s porn star

beards r chill, yall
super vintage
shows ur in touch
w/nature

look at this effing bro
damn walt
ur the man
ohhh shit son

hi
i have a beard
do u have a beard?
i luv a bro
w/a beard
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
do u hav a beard?
do u like men w/beards?
who has the most authentic hipster beard?
if the point of being a hipster is to look 'different,' why does everybody wind up looking the same?