will u b my bro 4evar?

Will u b my bro 4evar?
Or was this just a dream?
Were we really friends in Sitka?
Were we really a good team?

Will u b my bro 4life?
Or was this all made up?
I’ll miss comin’ 2 the Larkspur
2 chill & say ‘wuz up?’

Will u be my bro 4evar?
Or have the ties been cut?
We’ll facebook chat and cell phone text
But the distance still sucks butt

Will u b my bro 4life?
Or were we just on drugs?
I’ll miss ur goofy laughter
& our occasional bro hugs

Will u b my bro 4evar?
It seems we did so much
The P Bar, the radio, and Conan
We had that 'special' touch

Will u b my bro 4life?
Or will this fade away?
Sometimes we all have to move on
But I wish that u could stay

Will u b my bro 4evar?
I hope u will, my friend
As long as we have the Internet
Our friendship will never ‘end’

Maybe I’ll see u in NY
Or maybe off in Thailand
But whatever happens
Wherever we go
I just want
2 let u know
Our broship has been real grand

<3 u bro

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
Have u evar missed ur bro?
Do u h8 only being able to have a ‘facebook’/ ‘text-message’ friendship?
Am I on drugs?

seen the moon l8ly?

a buddyroo
a gentleman
sailing on the sea
he looks at the sky
he smiles and the moon
and then he thinks of me

'hello friend.u see the moon!'
he texts
and i take a step outside
but the clouds are out
the mountain's in the way
the moon decided to hide

kinda sad
i miss my pal
a ghost floating on the waves
i'm trapped on shore
i'm locked to the land
like a body to its grave

where are you moon
won't you show yourself
and shine on me n my friend
miles apart
you're all we have
won't you come around the bend?

hours later
im on my bike
riding through the night
i gaze at the sky
and see through the mists
the sight of the milky moon's light

i see it friend
i hope you still do
while you're sailing on the sea
when you look at the sky
when you look at the moon
i hope you think of me

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
have u seen the moon l8ly?
what kinda cheese is the moon made of?
do u think the man in the moon is a chill bro?
do you miss your friends?

h8 2 work?

h8 2 work
even tho
i sorta like my job
have a lot of other things
2 do
like applying for other jobs
making vacation & travel arrangements
working out
hiking
lying around
reading
watching films
listening 2 music
writing
sitting in cafes and drinking coffee
looking at the internet
reading blogs
sleeping
drinking

not sure
why/when ppl decided
to start sitting around
indoors
staring at computer monitors
having meetings
wearing uncomfortable clothes
not accomplishing anything
we all only go around once
so why not just do
whatever the eff we want
running around
dancing
drinking and smoking dank
sorta wish life
could be a party
that never ended
& i could party 4evr

whatever, work
screw u
im just gonna use
gchat/blogs/utube
and get paid
to waste time
until 5:30
then im gonna go parti
stay out too l8
then come in tomorrow
hungover
unless maybe
you burn down
like i used to wish
my middle school would burn down
so i wouldn’t have to see ppl i didn’t like
& id do whatever i want
(play video games)

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
do u ‘h8 work’?
where do u ‘work’?
why do ppl even bother do work?
how many hours of ‘work’ a day do u spend on gchat/twitter/facebook/blogs/utube?
do u ever wish u could just ‘party 4evr’?

r u a 'poet' / 'writer'?

hi yall
im a ‘poet’/‘writer’
if u couldn’t already tell
by my intense personal brand
i was just chillin on the beach
listenin to anco + authentic sea sounds
throwin down some prose
in my moleskine
smokin some dank
admiring my fixie
chilling down with some chill waves
chill

some lady asked 2 take my picture
4 the cover of some supposedly ‘progressive’ underground mag
abt ‘art’
i was sorta disappointed it wasn’t p4k
but whatevs
we all need some1
2 look up 2
& i’ll represent for the writers
the poets
& fat ugly grl and lonely ugly ghey
undergraduate creative writing majors

sorta confused why
a mag abt writing
didn’t just have words on the cover
but I guess writing and art
rn’t really about writing and art
n e more, n e ways
this is the ‘age of the image/personal brand/facebook pic’
& the only things that still sell
r dank
apple products
& JPEG memes

now some of my fav blogs
like ‘looks @ these effing hipstrz’ & ‘the hpstr runs offs’
r making fun of me
like its my fault
some old ass marketing executives
wanted to ‘make a quick buck’
by tapping into the youth scene’s
quirky/shallow fashion aesthetic
rlly all I wanted to do
was chill at the beach
dig my bare feet into the sand
and vibe down
with mother earth

oh well
just gonna keep on writin
might get another tat/piercing
l8r 2nite
chill w/my bros @ Union Pool/the Knitting Factory/
some other chill
wllmsbrg scene
bust out some meaningful words
gonna share my story
hope u like it
& stick around l8r
to buy me some PBR
and ask abt which thrift store
i got my pants from

chill, yall
-the poets & writers bro

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
do u ‘write’?
do u ride a ‘fixie’?
whats ur fav thing 2 do @ the beach?
do people even ‘read’ magazines n e more?
do ppl even publish/write magazines/books n e more?
Do ppl even ‘read’ n e more?
Is ‘writing’/ ‘reading’ only for ‘fat grls’ and ‘effing fggts’?
What’s the distinction between a ‘poet’ & a ‘writer’?
Do poets get more tug jobs than writers, or vise versa?
Is this guy a better writer than ‘Twilight’?

hows ur iphone doin?

Dear iPhone,

iPhone
i <3 u so much
but what is wrong with u
ur acting sick
worried abt the future
of humanitie

iPhone
i could not live w/o u
i wuld die w/o u
u connect me 2 societie
like real human interaction
nvr could

iPhone
i <3 u 4evar
but, like, - O.K., I have to come clean
not worried so much abt u
as i am abt my addiction
2 u

iPhone?
what r u?
lets face it
u r a shittie peice of shit, first -
a marketing gimmick
status symbol
a useless distraction from 'real life' -
and u r a decent piece of machinery, last

iPhone
no one seems to notice
that u suck
instead of getting frustrated by their own
materialistic + consumerist behavior
they gotta h8 on u and Steve Handjobsbro
kinda like a heroin junkie
blaming his addiction
on his drugs/drugs dealer
and not his own weak moral character

iPhone
sorry u had to get stuck
in the middle of all this
it's not ur fault
but its not like we'll ever blame ourselves
for our own problems
walking down the street
like zombies
gazing at a tiny screen
consuming texts
isolating ourselves from our surroundings
raising u above the crowd
at a relevant indie concert
gotta post my authentic concert pic on twitter/facebook/utube
instead of actually focusing solely on enjoying the music
and creating a real memory in my brain

iPhone
if im at a party where i don't know anyone
i stand in a corner playing with u
pushing buttons
pretending im having an important text conversation
with my friends who aren't @ the parti yet
u offer me security
i don't actually have to meet ppl
ill just check out their facebook pics
see who's posted on ur wall l8ly
maybe ill just download another app

iPhone
i <3 u, iphone
even more than i <3 dank
and my monthly trustfund allowance
i <3 so much
i'll nvr betray u
even tho u are a piece of shit/
programmed to die every 2 years/
destroying meaningful human interaction
<3 iPhone 4evar

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
do u <3/h8 ur iphone 4s?
whats ur favorite apppp?
r iphones the new heroin?
who do u h8 more: At&Ats, Steves Brobs, or China?
when will they make a tooth-sized iPhone that fits in ur mouth/brain/pee hole?

'lady gaga'?

‘lady gaga’
don’t know who/what u r
some ppl i respect even think u r a genius
but 2 me
u just look like a tranny-crossdresser
trying 2 squeeze out a turd
on a piano bench

don’t understand all the ‘hype’ u generate
i guess u have a ‘unique’ sense of ‘fashion’
maybe u r so authentic
that u transcend everyday human existence
which is maybe why
i just don’t ‘get’ u

or maybe ppl r just so bored/resentful
of their mnstrm suburban lives
& they just want something
silly 2 look at
that somehow still passes as ‘high culture/art’
makes them feel ‘sophisticated,’ ‘trendy’ and ‘in-the-know’
broin’ down with the modern music ‘scene-sphere’

music isn’t even about music n e more
just ‘image,’ ‘controversial wardrobe choices,’
‘youtube/JPEG/internet memes’
& ‘pitchfork’
don’t really even have to write ‘interesting’/ ‘insightful’ lyrics
or play real instruments
just shit out 32 minutes of bleepy-bloops/fuzz/samples/remixes on a MacBook Pro
every 2.5 years
then ride the press wave
like a cowboy [Heath Ledger] riding a horse [Jake Gyllenhall]
into oblivion

‘lady gaga’
some ppl ‘feel’/‘act like they feel’
‘insulted’
that u think ur such hot shit
u can play on John Lennon’s piano
u r more than just some attention-seeking whore-cunt
but the gr8est artist/most relevant pop culture icon
since Bono
which is perhaps evidence
that something has gone horribly wrong in the last several years
in the world’s relationship to music

when ppl start to worry/think more
about the material object an artist used to facilitate his music-making
than the ideas/dreams/hopes an artist was attempting to convey
through his music –
something has gone wrong
terribly wrong
makes me think the world might be ending
in 2012
after all

don’t even think lady gaga is a ‘real person’
possibly just a CGI creation
like Gollum or the avatars
has n e one actually seen her in person
or touched her skin
or performed an X-ray to make sure
she is full of human organs
and not metal rods and bolts
the female version of the Terminator
come from the future to annihilate the human race
?

‘lady gaga’
u were conceived and born on the Internet
u live inside the Internet
a grouping of memory pixels
floating through space
not a man
not a woman
a cluster of electricity
everywhere
everywhere
and
nowhere

‘lady gaga’
u will live 4evar
unlike John Lennon, a real person
who was shot by J.D. Salinger and bled to death
on the pavement
u have transcended the human condition
u will remain authentic 4evar
hats off to u, m’lady
u r more popular than the Beatles
which means u are even more popular
than Jesus [via the transitive property]

imagine no inauthenticity
imagine all the blog coverage
imagine all the mnstrm people
living 4 2day
in the name of the father
the son
and the lady gaga
deliver us from evil
amen
-The Bible

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
do u actually ‘like’ ‘lady gaga,’ or just ‘the idea’ of ‘lady gaga’?
what is ur fav lady gaga ‘song’?
do u play Beatles Rock Band?
do u ‘imagine’?
is lady gaga ‘human,’ ‘machine,’ or ‘CGI’?
did ur parents force u to take piano lessons?
is lady gaga a ‘performance artist’ [via Lindsay Lohan], offering the world an important critique on modern celebrity culture, or is she just another ‘Madona rip-off attention-seeking cunt’?
do u think lady gaga’s vag/peen has teeth?
is lady gaga ‘the 2nd cumming of Christ’/ ‘the antichrist’?
what is the state of modern ‘music’?
was John Lennon the proto-hipster?

how does it feel 2 b a white, priveliged, over-educated, white person?

suburbs
parents
soccer leagues
band practice
scholarships
liberal arts education
sexual experimentation
dorm life
study abroad
travel
clothes
food
apartments
houses
New York City
restaurants
museums
nightclubs
New York Times
parties
white friends
social networking
money
iPods
iPhones
MacBook Pros
netbooks
Blackberries
music
blogs
the Internet
bicycles
recycling
organic farming
diner parties
film
literature
art
coffee
tea
cafes
journals
sketchbooks
guitars
poetry
climbing the social ladder
white people
alternative culture
white people
liberal sensibilities
white people
expensive sunglasses
white people
environmentalism
white people
authenticity
white people
white people
white people

humanity
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
r u a white person?
r u priveleged & over educated?
was ur college education 'completely effing useless'?
what r your favorite 'white person' things 2 do?
is this post just a rip-off of the outdated, old-ass blog 'stuff whitebros like'?
do u like black people?
do u have white guilt?